2.4 Ocean Commits Murder

Welcome back to the Hawthorn DITFTR! It’s been awhile since I haven’t had much time to write or play thanks to school. In other news, this blog has been nominated on Boolprop for Best DITFT! This means that 3 of my blogs have been nominated for the Golden Plumbobs and I’m thrilled to know people are enjoying my stuff! Anyways, last time Ash was well Ash, Jeans and Ocean were a bit unhinged, the pets were all given up for adoption, and Alecia died after a few tries.

Ocean: “So Grandpa, what’s the secret to immortality? You look absolutely ancient and you’re still alive so you must have found it.”
Ash: “ANCIENT??? I look like a magnificent graceful swan and I’ll prove it too you!!!”

Ash: “Hello Clarissa. Ever since I saw your online dating profile I can’t stop thinking about you.”
Clarissa: “I love me an older man.”

Ocean: “See, I told you Grandpa was getting it on with someone younger than Dad.”
Jeans: “How did he manage that?”
Ocean: *shrugs* “I think that there’s something broken in her head.”

Ocean: “And now he’s got his tongue in her mouth.”
Jeans: “That’s how kissing works???”
Ocean: “Do you not use the internet?”
Clarissa: “I love having an audience too.”
Ocean: “There is something seriously wrong with that woman.”

Solar Panel: “My poor childhood innocence.”
What are you talking about?
*moaning and thumping noises*
OH.
Solar Panel: *plays louder*
Maybe putting Ash’s room across from the nursery was a bad idea.

Ocean: “I never knew woohoo sounded so much like murder.”
How do you know what murder sounds like?????
Ocean: “I have dived into the depths of the internet.”

Ocean: “Wait a minute… You’re the new teacher at school! I can’t wait to tell everyone what a giant slut you are!”
Clarissa: “As if they’d believe a word that comes out of your mouth.”
Ash: “Clarissa here is a classy woman, right babe.”
Clarissa: “I sure am!”
Ocean: “You’ve know each other less than 3 hours and 2 of those hours were spent making a host of barn animal noises.”

Jacaranda: “What kind of woman has a lingerie that matches her hair, you look ridiculous!!!””
Clarissa: “Aw, what a sweet little baby.”
Solar Panel: “Come near me and I’ll puke on you.”

Clarissa: “My my, I recognize that handsome young face from my new high school class. You’re family is just full of handsome young men.”
NO BAD CLARISSA! NO FLIRTING WITH TEENAGERS!!

Jacaranda: “You look so much better when you’re not wearing that ridiculous red outfit.”
Clarissa: “Let me tell you, I look twice as good out it.”

Jacaranda: “I guess I better find out.”

SERIOUSLY??? Clarissa has just made moves on three generations of Hawthorn’s.

Ash wanted a hot tub, so I got him one. He’s at 103 days old at this point.

Recycle is still around. Despite being the heiress I don’t think I paid much attention to her as a toddler.

Hyacinth threw a party and invited Ash.

Her daughter’s are currently toddlers. This is Barbra.

And this is Melissa. Their colourings are exact opposites of each other.

The party lasted like 3 seconds cause Hyacinth had to go to work *face palm*

Oops, I forgot Solar Panel’s birthday. He has No Sense of Humor now.
Solar Panel: “I DO NOT FIND THIS FUNNY.”

Navy then went off to prom.

He walks in the door and immediately falls on his face, real graceful there Navy.

Navy: “I’M PROM KING!!!!”

Navy: “WHERE’D THAT LLAMA COME FROM???”

Navy: “I’M GONNA TIE IT TO THE STAGE!!!”

Navy: “HE ASSHOLE!!! YOU BETTER APOLOGIZE TO THE LADY!!!”

Marlana: “Oh my hero!”
In summary, the punch got spiked and Navy got into a bunch of antics, but somehow manages to land a girl.

Ash: “WHO THE HELL ARE YOU?? I DON’T CARE WHAT YOUR MOTHER SAYS, I’M NOT YOUR FATHER!!!”
Kid: “I’m just visiting!”
Ash yells at random child, nothing new there.

Another burglar, you’d think they’d learn.

Burglar: “The Home Owners Association didn’t warn me about this!!!”

Why are you all eating breakfast outside?
Ocean: “There was no way I was going near that toxic wasteland of a kitchen table.”

DOE NO ONE KNOW HOW TO WASH DISHES???
Ocean: “We have a maid, why would we wash our own dishes?”

Jacaranda reached level 5 of the Business career, so he’s started his final job in the Athletic career.

It’s now time for Ocean and Jean’s birthdays!

Ocean is now Handy.

She’s also bisexual.

Jeans is now Unstable, this kid just can’t win when it comes to traits apparently.

He’s bisexual too.

Solar Panel: “I may be the forgotten child, but I’m boss at video games!”

Jacaranda isn’t actually at level 5 of the Athletic skill yet, so he takes a quick trip to the gym.

And done!

Ash: “And they say old men don’t have game! I’ve got all kinds of game!!”

Recycle: “And like that, I’m alone. At least I haven’t been abandoned in the wilderness.”

Ash: “I bet you couldn’t land a date in a bar of horny men! You look like a clown did your make-up blind!”
Ocean: “YOU BETTER WATCH YOUR MOUTH!!! Or you’re going to find yourself choking on your own blood.”

While Ocean researches how to get away with murder, Solar Panel continues to be obsessed with video games.
Solar Panel: “I’m losing, how is that possible?!”
Jeans: *is asleep*

Dianne: “So how are my kids doing?”
Ummmmmmmm, fine?

Dianne: “When did my sister die?”
Alecia: “Vending machines are dangerous things.”
Francesca: “Just how many dead woman are in this place?

There are 6 dead woman in this house, their urns are just sort of stuffed in random places.

Meanwhile Ash is 108 days and getting another tattoo.
Ash: “It’s another scantily clad woman!”
Of course it is.

Now that Jacaranda is done with all of the skilling for his generational goals, he can focus on his aspiration.

For some reason, every time I boot up the game, Ash’s age resets to 75 days old. I’ve been keeping track of how old he is (since he turned 90) and have just been changing his age to what it should be using Master Controller. I’m kind of worried he’s going to live forever at this rate.

It’s been awhile since Jacaranda painted anything, his paintings tend to be awfully blocky though for some reason.

It must be the weekend or something, so Navy is out with his prom RI Marlana.

Who is apparently in a relationship with someone else.

It doesn’t stop Navy from putting the moves on her. He does convince her to leave her boyfriend and date him instead.

Ocean: “And your candy is all mine!!!”
Recycle: “CANDY!!!!”

Ash: “HOW DARE YOU MAKE MY PRECIOUS GRANDBABY CRY!!!”
Ocean: “I’M YOUR GRANDCHILD TOO ASSHOLE!!”
Ash! No child abuse! Put the cane down!!

Ash: “How about the poor baby gets some cake!”

Recycle is now an Animal Lover.

Recycle: “Soon this will all be mine. I expect you to pay homage to me with kittens.”
Ocean: “In your dreams brat.”
Solar Panel: “If Ocean murders Recycle does that make me heir next?”
No one is murdering anyone!!

Ash: “HOW DARE YOU CORRUPT RECYCLE WITH YOUR TALK OF MURDER!!!”
Ocean: “YOUR DAYS ARE NUMBERED ASSHOLE!!!”

Huh, I didn’t know Ash’s nerd level was that high.

You’ve got to be kidding me, of all of the traits he could have gotten. Though to be honest it kind of fits.

A FEW HOURS LATER.
Ash: “I feel all tingly.”

I fully believe that Ocean murdered him, he’s been a super asshole to her since her birthday.

Grim Reaper: “Well I didn’t expect to be here so soon.”
Ash is 110 days old! If anything, you’re late!

Grim Reaper: “Meh, I found this guy entertaining.”
Ash: “You have taste.”

The Grim Reaper then sat down to read one of the many books stashed in the bookshelves.
Grim Reaper: “Shhhhh! This is that part where she bathes naked!”
Is everyone in this save horny?

Anyway, time for the Story Progression updates!

Crocus got with Abner Barnett.

And Aster got back together with Sandy Cho despite breaking up last time.

Generational Goals:

Gain skill level 5 for job (each one that requires different skill)
Start Four Jobs, Quit when At Level Five 3/4
Meet Co-Workers 4/4
Have Kid with two different woman 2/2
Get Married
Flirt with at least three sims 3/3
Expansion Need: Pets
Buy and get rid of pets (one cat, one dog, one horse)

Kids: 5/5
Heir: #5

Anyways, that’s all for now!

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2.3 Chaos

Welcome back to the Hawthorn DITFTR! Last time Solar Panel was born, Dianne completed her lifetime wish and then caught fire and died via a jelly bean bush, Lilac the dog was sent away and a horse Bonkers was adopted, and Ash finally realized he was old, but that didn’t stop him from trying to get down the pants of every woman he meets.

We start off with Jacaranda deciding that he no longer wants to own a cat.

Goodbye Chicory.

The same social work that took Lilac also came to take Chicory.

Alecia: “I HATE THIS PART!!!”

It looks like the Gen 2 heir is a girl! Meet Recycle, she’s Easily Impressed and Hates the Outdoors.

Bonkers is still alive, and apparently this water trough needs regular refilling.

Ash was getting board, so he decided to go on some dates.

Ariel here is only recently a young adult, but apparently she’s fine going on a date with a geriatric Ash.

They go up to a remote cabin.

And make full use of one of the beds.

Jeans: “CAAAAAAKE!!!”
Ocean: “Just blow out the candles numb nuts!”

Ocean is now a Bookworm.

While Jeans is Insane… Of course he is.

Ocean: “DAMN SHOWER! IF YOU WEREN’T ALREADY BROKEN I’D BEAT YOUR ASS WITH A LEAD PIPE!!!”

Ocean: “STUPID F***ING GHOST WAKING ME UP!!!!”

Ocean: “Enjoy your breakfast brother, it might be your last.”
Yeah, Ocean has issues.

Jeans: “I’M GOING TO LIVE FOREVER, SO SUCK IT OCEAN!!!”
While, both of them have issues.

Jacaranda has realized that having pets and kids is a lot of work.

So Bonkers is being sent away.

Social Worker: “Did no one brush this horse?”
Uh, not really.

It turns out Ash has a dating profile.

He accepts all of the requests he’s been sent.

And quickly invites one of them over.

It doesn’t take long for him to lure Rosie into bed.
Ash: “I told you I still have it.”
You’re 100 days old.

Jacaranda is having a midlife crisis.
Jacaranda: “Marriage is an anchor. I CRAVE FREEDOM!!”

Poor Alecia has no idea.

Jacaranda: “You are no longer what I want. Goodbye.”
Alecia: “Wait, what are you saying?”

Jacaranda: “I’M DIVORCING YOU!!!”
Alecia: “How could you? I destroyed my relationship with my sister for you!”
Jacaranda: “Goodbye.”
Alecia: “Did you ever love me?!”
Jacaranda: “Unimportant.”

Jeans: “Your house is multiple colours.”
Kid: “So?”
Jeans: “It’s hideous.”
Kid: “I’m never inviting you over again.”

Alecia collected some investments and completed her lifetime wish.

Depressed with her divorce Alecia has begun hitting the jelly beans.

Dianne: “No one mentioned being stuck haunting this family forever.”

Alecia: “I feel tingly.”

Alecia then attempts to fix the computer, several times. Somehow she survives.

It’s time for Navy’s birthday!
Navy: “I can’t wait to celebrate with everyone!”

Uh oh.
Alecia: “The bush is on fire. THE BUSH IS ON FIRE!!!”

Navy: “Hey, where did everyone go?”
Um, they’re a little pre-occupied.
Navy: “What could possibly be more important than my birthday?”

Jacaranda: “THE BUSH IS ON FIRE!!!”
Alecia: “I’VE NOTICED ASSHOLE!!!”

Anyways, Navy is now Easily Impressed.

He’s also straight.

With the jelly bean bush having been burnt to ash, Alecia starts to body slam a vending machine.

That was fast, this death normally takes ages.

Grim Reaper: “Another dead woman? Someone should report these people.”
Navy: “Step-mother!!!”

Ash: “HOW DARE SHE INTERUPT MY ME TIME WITH HER DEATH!!!!”

Alecia: “Please, my baby still needs me!!”
Grim Reaper: “You should have thought of that before body slamming a vending machine.”

This house is full of the bodies of dead women… Talk about a red flag.

NO. WE ARE NOT ADDING ANYMORE DEAD BODIES RIGHT NOW!!!
Ocean: “But he really pisses me off!”
NO.
Ocean: “Fine.”

Solar Panel still exists by the way.
Solar Panel: “I’m an orphan.”
Your father is still alive, so no.
Solar Panel: “Orphan.”

Jacaranda’s next midlife crisis wish was to work out.

Ash is currently making friends vis the relationship transmogrifier. This thing is pretty useful.
Ash: “I HAVE THE POWER!!!”

Ash: “I need something to make myself awesome.”

Ash now has a tattoo of a mermaid on his arm.

It’s birthday time for Recycle!

She’s got the same colouring as Solar Panel (white hair, blue eyes).

This time around, Jacaranda is going to have to do the toddler training by himself.

Rosie invited Ash to a pool party.

Once again, he was the only person invited.

That was fast. I didn’t expect Alecia to be back already.
Alecia: “I need to check on my babies.”

Much like his father, Navy has taken up writing.
Navy: “It’s a magical fairytale full of animal friends!”

Ash: “My life is amazing.”
Ocean: “And you have how many STD’s?”
Ash: “BLASPHAMY! I have no such thing!!!”
Ocean: “Keep telling yourself that.”

Jeans: “If I had a credit card, I would buy everything.”
It’s a good thing you don’t have a credit card then.

The only story progression update this time is Aster’s break up with Sandy Cho.

Generational Goals:

Gain skill level 5 for job (each one that requires different skill)
Start Four Jobs, Quit when At Level Five 2/4
Meet Co-Workers 3/4
Have Kid with two different woman 2/2
Get Married
Flirt with at least three sims 2/3
Expansion Need: Pets
Buy and get rid of pets (one cat, one dog, one horse)

Kids: 5/5
Heir: #5

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2.2 Ash’s Antics

Welcome back to the Hawthorn DITFTR! Last time Jeans and Ocean were born, Dianne caught on to Jacaranda sleeping with her sister, Dianne divorced Jacaranda, Jacaranda married Alecia, and Dianne used ghosts as therapy.

Jeans: “Daddy left your mama for my Mama!”
Ocean: “I’m going to shove this block down your throat if you don’t shut up.”
Navy: “No death threats till after lunch!”
Ocean: “I didn’t threaten to kill him. It’s not my fault if the block happens to choke him to death.”
I’d say the kids are taking the situation well.

After the toddlers finished discussing murder, it was time for more toddler training. Dianne continues to pretend that Jacaranda isn’t in the room.

Once they finish there’s a bit of a toddler swap and Dianne flees like the room is on fire.

Really Lilac, you have to destroy the nice bench outside.
Lilac: “DESTRUCTION!”

I think it’s interesting how both of Dianne’s kids ended up with green hair and blue eyes.

Lilac had a birthday. She is now very fluffy.

Burglar alert.

Burglar: “THEY HAVE AN ALARM!!! THE ROBBERS ASSOCIATION DIDN’T PREPARE ME FOR THIS!!!”

Police Officer: “You are under arrest you piece of filth!”
Burglar: “Aw man, there goes my robbing streak.”

In the morning it’s baby time!
Alecia: “WHAT IS THAT INFERNAL SQUEAKING???”

That’s just Lilac, she’s finally big enough to use the toys I bought her.
Alecia: “IT IS DRIVING ME MENTAL!!!”

Anyways, Alecia welcomes another boy into the family. Meet Solar Panel, he’s Perceptive and a Slob. Seriously why are so many of these kids Slobs?

Lilac: “INTRUDER. INTRUDER.”
Mail Lady: “Uh, nice doggy?”

Lilac: “I should rip you to shreds.”
Mail Lady: “I’m out of here!”

Ash: “Who’s a good dog?”
Lilac: “I AM. I AM!”
Ash, stop encouraging Lilac’s misbehaviors.

Oh great, who puked on the floor.
Maid: “I’m not cleaning it up.”
THEN WHAT ARE YOU BEING PAID FOR?!

Anyways, Alecia is back at the drafting table.

And now time for Navy’s birthday!
Jacaranda: “There is a trail of flowers on my floor.”
Blame Dianne, she leaves them everywhere.

Anyways, Navy is now a Night Owl.

Ash got invited to Crocus’ party. You’d think his children would learn their lesson about inviting him places.

Crocus spent the entire time playing with the VR googles anyway.

Ash: “Hello pretty lady. Judging by that baby I’m guessing you’re married.”
Sandy: “Nope, you would think so, but I just can’t seem to keep a man

Ash: “What kind of party doesn’t have any food being served? I’m stuck with this crappy bowl of cereal.”

Dianne: “The audacity! You two are really going to rub this in my face?”
Alecia and Jacaranda: *kissing noises*

Jacaranda: “I’m no longer feeling having a dog.”

Lilac: “I’m being sent away?”
Sorry Lilac, it’s for the generational goals.

And so the social worker came and took Lilac away.

Navy was out fishing in the rain throughout all of this.
Navy: “It wasn’t raining when I started.”

With Lilac gone, Jacaranda has adopted a horse, he’s called Bonkers and he’s Friendly.

Ash: “Being a grandparent is so wonderful. This is the cutest baby ever.”

Ocean: “Bastard. What about me?”
Jeans: “What about me?”
Ocean: “I’m clearly cuter than you.”

Bonkers is living off of grass cause I didn’t bother buying any horse supplies.

Ash: “I am the king of video games!”

Ash: “How would you like to sleep with the king of video games? It’s not an opportunity that comes along very often.”

Alecia: “Are you serious?”
Ash: “I know, it’s every woman’s dream come true and it’s all for you.”

Alecia: “I would not sleep with you if you were the last man alive!”

Alecia: “And to top it off, what is wrong with you proposition your DAUGHTER IN-LAW!!!”
Ash: “So you’re not going to sleep with me?”
Alecia: “NO!!!”

Navy: “I want to have so many animals when I grow up!”
Ash: “I’m a grandfather… THAT MEANS I’M OLD!!!!”
So you’ve finally clued in.

Navy: “I love you so much Grandpa, I don’t know why Dad thinks you were such a bad father.”
Ash: “I’M OOOOOOOOOOLD!!!!”
Navy: “Uh, Grandpa? You okay? Do you need pills or something?”

Navy: “Grandpa wouldn’t stop screaming about being old, so I’m just going to play video games.”

Bonkers ran out of puddles to drink from so I had to by a water trough.

Ash: “I may be old, but I still look hot don’t I baby girl?”
Ocean: “You have wrinkles bigger than my mouth.”

In other news…

Dianne has mastered the logic skill.

Jacaranda has reached level 5 of the Culinary career.

So he joins up in the Business career which doesn’t require any skills.

Alecia has only been to half a day of work as a stylist, but she’s been working her butt off on the drafting table.

Jacaranda’s been slacking a little on his LTW lately, but he’s slowly chugging through the writing skill whenever he has time.

Looks like the final baby is on the way!

It’s also time for Solar Panel’s birthday!

He’s got Liam’s blue eyes, and his hair is from Alecia’s mother.

Alecia gets started on toddler training almost immediately.

Navy: “Do you ever get the feeling that our family is weird?”
Ocean: “Our stepmother is also our aunt and our paternal uncles and aunt all have different mothers.”

Ash: “What am I doing back in this craphole?”
You mean the festival that you used to go to all the time?
Ash: “It’s not what it used to be.”

Ash: “I’m going to blow this shit up.”
Those are fireworks.

I didn’t realize that the fireworks exploded with a rainbow until just now.

DID YOU JUST EAT A FLY???
Jacaranda: “If I consume a thousand souls I get superpowers.”

Ash: “I feel like I’m forgetting something.”

Your son’s birthday maybe. Jacaranda is now an adult.

Dianne finishes one final job.

And she reaches the top of the ghost hunting profession! Which means her lifetime wish is complete.

Ash: “I’m tired of that woman living here for free without even sleeping with me.”
So you lock her in the bedroom?
Ash: “I even left some food in there this time.”

The food being a jellybean bush.

Dianne: “My butt feels oddly warm.”

Dianne: “OH SHIT! I’M ON FIRE!!!!!”

And like that Dianne is nothing more than a pile of ash.

Grim Reaper: “What is with this family and killing the mothers of their children?”

Grim Reaper: “Are you going to come quietly or are you going to scream like a baby?”

Dianne: “At least this way I won’t have to watch my sister bang my ex-husband.”

Grim Reaper: “Aw. Who’s a cute cat?”

On that note, it’s time for the story progression updates.

It seems when Marco and Crocus split up they each got custody of one child. Garth lives with Marco and Michel with Crocus.

Remember Sandy Cho, while one of the men she bounces between is Aster.

Crocus has started dating Hasan Colby for a second time.

Ash wanted 10 grandkids, so I pollinated Foxglove,

Hyacinth,

and Crocus with kids. Story Progression doesn’t seem to be giving same sex couples kids right now for some reason.

Generational Goals:

Gain skill level 5 for job (each one that requires different skill)
Start Four Jobs, Quit when At Level Five 2/4
Meet Co-Workers 2/4
Have Kid with two different woman 2/2
Get Married
Flirt with at least three sims 2/3
Expansion Need: Pets
Buy and get rid of pets (one cat, one dog, one horse) 1/3

Kids: 4/5
Heir: #5

That’s all for now!

Previous / Next

2.1 Ghost Therapy

Welcome back to the Hawthorn DITFTR! Last time Navy was born, Ash had a crisis about his age, Hyacinth moved out, Dianne’s sister Alecia moved in and Jacaranda started a relationship with her, and both Dianne and Alecia announced their pregnancies.

Dianne: “It’s so nice Alecia and I are pregnant at the same time. You’re going to get a little sibling and cousin Navy! Aren’t you excited?”
Navy: “What. I have to share?!”
In other news Dianne still has no idea what her husband and sister have been up to.

Ash got invited to a party at Foxglove’s house and HAD TO INTRODUCE HIMSELF TO HIS OWN SON.
Going a little senile Ash?
Ash: “I am the definition of youth!”
You keep telling yourself that.

Ash: “I have to make sure Foxglove knows how much his house sucks.”
*sigh* I guess some things don’t change.

Ash: “Your house looks like a turd designed it and then took a shit all over it!!!”

Foxglove: “DAMN YOU!!!!”
Ash: “This is what you get for inviting me over.”
Foxglove: “You infuriate me.”

Ash: “I may be the only one here, but this party is pretty awesome!”
Foxglove: “Why do I even bother trying with you?”

In other news, Navy is still enjoying being an only child and having all the toys to himself.

Jacaranda and Alecia are continuing their relationship. The two of them are woohooing pretty regularly.

Dianne is still totally clueless.
Dianne: “I’m so excited for Alecia and I’s babies to grow up together! I do wonder who the father is though…”

Huh, apparently plantsims can absorb puddles.

Dianne: “This feels peculiar.”

Chicory had a birthday and is now an adult cat.

He can now desecrate all of the kitchen counters.
Chicory: “Everything I see is mine!”

Looks like it’s Aster’s turn for a birthday!

Aster: “I have confetti in my underwear.”

Anyways, Aster adds Handy to Absent-Minded, Virtuoso, Evil, and Vehicle Enthusiast. His lifetime wish is The Tinkerer.

And with that Aster moves out!

Dianne: “Look at me, I’m Ash. I think I’m such hot stuff, but really I’m just a pervy old fart.”
Ash: “HOW DARE YOU?!”
Yeah, these two butt heads a lot. They’re both Mean-Spirited.

Dianne: “I’ve put my asshole of a Father In-Law in his place, now I can enjoy my chess.”

Alecia: “Dianne still has no idea right?”
Jacaranda: “She’s far to busy arguing with my father.”

They have also gotten a dog. Her name is Lilac and she’s Hydrophobic and Loyal.

Despite Jacaranda and Dianne being the ones to adopt them, Ash is the one who gives them attention.

Alecia: “I’M LEAKING!!”
Maid: “I DON’T GET PAID ENOUGH FOR THIS CRAP!!”

Dianne: “My sister screaming in pain has started my own labour!!!”

Alecia gives birth to a boy. Meet Jeans, he’s a Slob and Couch Potato.

Dianne gives birth to a girl. Meet Ocean, she’s Evil and a Slob.

Dianne: “Wait a minute… Alecia’s baby looks just like Jacaranda… THAT TWO TIMING BASTARD!!!”

Dianne: “What am I supposed to do now? I don’t want to set a bad example for my kids by sticking with a cheating bastard, but I don’t want them to grow up without a father either!”

Dianne decides to take Jacaranda up into the mountains to hash things out.

Dianne: “Did you really think I wouldn’t find out you fathered Alecia’s baby?! How could you ruin our marriage, we had a good thing going!”
Jacaranda: “Alecia’s pretty.”

Dianne: “THAT’S IT?? YOU DESTROYED OUR MARRIAGE AND MY RELATIONSHIP WITH MY SISTER CAUSE SHE’S PRETTY?!!”
Jacaranda: “She’s better in bed than you are.”
Dianne: “Do you not care about me at all?”
Jacaranda: “Ummmm.”

Dianne: “I do not have to put up with this! It is OVER!!”

Jacaranda: “What?”
Dianne: “Did you really think I was going to stick with you after you slept with MY SISTER?!?!?!”

Jacaranda: “And then she divorced me!”
Alecia: “That’s terrible!”

Alecia: “I’ll always be here for you Jacaranda.”
That didn’t take long.

Dianne: “My ex-husband is no doubt banging my sister, and I’m stuck giving the cat a flea bath.”

Jacaranda: “I’m short a wife, marry me.”
Alecia: “Nothing would make me happier!”

And then they got married right then and there.

Navy still has no idea that his mother’s life has imploded.

Dianne is back to her ghostbusting. She has to scan for ghosts now.

Dianne: “You know this place isn’t so great, I mean I just divorced my husband. He was cheating on me with my sister can you believe it?!”
Ghost: “That’s terrible!”
And it seems she’s been using ghosts as a therapist.

Jacaranda breaks up a fight at work.

Wait… If the fight is over who used the last of the catsup, then how can catsup get everywhere when it’s been used up?

Chicory: “The humans got a dog and didn’t consult me!”
Lilac: “I like food.”

Dianne’s latest promotion has got her wearing saftey glasses.

Dianne: “You ghosts are going back to the netherworld!!! I just wish I could send my ex-husband there…”

Dianne’s next job was dealing with a haunted toilet.
Dianne: “WHY WOULD A GHOST HAUNT A TOILET???”
Maybe it’s Moaning Myrtle.

Ash: “I have such a sweet granddaughter. I’ve never felt love like this before.”
You had 5 children. Also, your granddaughter is Evil.

Jacaranda: “I don’t know what Dianne is so upset about, she gets to live in my house rent free and I do all the cooking anyway.”

Jennifer: “Women tend to take offense when they’ve been cheated on.”
Jacaranda: “Oh you can talk. I thought you were one of the voiceless specters I see all the time. The last one showed me how to draw a cat!”

Alecia: “I’m having another baby!”

Dianne: “Stupid husband. Stupid sister. Stupid affair baby. Stupid pregnancy.”
Alecia: “You should really get over it dear. Besides, this is our babies’ birthdays!”

Ocean has also inherited Dianne’s green hair and Liam’s blue eyes.

Jeans has got Alecia’s red hair and Jacaranda’s red eyes.

The parents start on toddler training, with Dianne carefully avoiding looking at Jacaranda.

Since she wants to be a stylist, Alecia has been creating designs on the drafting table.

Ash: “I’ve been cornered.”
Chicory: “I demand your attention human!!”
Lilac: “HI. I’M GOING TO FOLLOW YOU EVERYWHERE!”

Ghost: “Wait! It’s not my fault your husband is a dick!”

Dianne: “First a haunted toilet and now a haunted trash can, what is up with these poltergeists?”

Her ghost hunting earned her some awards at city hall.

Generational Goals:

Gain skill level 5 for job (each one that requires different skill) 
Start Four Jobs, Quit when At Level Five 1/4
Meet Co-Workers 2/4
Have Kid with two different woman 2/2
Get Married
Flirt with at least three sims 2/3
Expansion Need: Pets
Buy and get rid of pets (one cat, one dog, one horse)

Kids: 3/5
Heir: #5

Time for story progression updates!

Hyacinth’s RI from prom aged up so they got back together.

Aster hooked up with one of his father’s former lays.

Despite breaking up last time, Crocus is once more flirting with Hasan Colby.

He also flirts with Beau… AGAIN. I guess with limited gay guys in town Crocus is just bouncing between them all.

Anyways, that’s all for now!

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2.0 Two Generations of Cheaters

Welcome back to the Hawthorn DITFTR! Last time there were birthdays, prom (in which Jacaranda got into a lot of fights), Jacaranda aged up and married a PlantSim Dianne O’Durke, and Dianne announced she was expecting the first of Gen 2!

Seeing as the first of Gen 2 is on the way I renovated the house!

This is the second story which has bedrooms for all the future kids.

I renovated the main floor a little bit, but I pretty much kept the kitchen and living room the same. I also deleted the basement and coloured the house dark blue.

Ash and Jacaranda were both sent to the gym while I renovated.

While Dianne got to go to the spa.

I then realized that I forgot to put in a chess table for Dianne, so I stuck one on the top floor.

Ash gets back from the gym and enjoys being a free loader.
Ash: “I started this whole thing!”
By sleeping your way through half the town, killing your wives, and barely working a day in your life.
Ash: “Do you think it’s easy looking this good? It’s hard work you know!”
*sigh*

Jacaranda on the other hand is busy going through his neighbours trash.
Jacaranda: “The tomatoes are terrible gossips! They give me all the dirt on these people!!”

Jacaranda: “It’s smelly work though, maybe I won’t have to do it if I get demoted…”
NO. You need to get to level 5 for your generational goals!!

Ash: “NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!”
What’s wrong?
Ash: “THIS GUESS MY AGE APP SAID I’M 75!!!”
Isn’t that you’re age?
Ash: “I’M SUPPOSE TO LOOK 50!!!”

While Ash’s ego is smashed to pieces and his screams echo throughout the entire house, Dianne adopts the family a pet.

Meet Chicory. He’s a cute Non-Destructive kitten, though don’t get too attached to him, Jacaranda is going to have to give him up at some point for the generational goals.

Which will probably break Dianne’s heart, she loves the little furball already (she’s an Animal Lover).

Ash: “I. Must. Stay. YOUNG!”

Well, you’ve managed to master the Athletic skill.

To further prove his youthfulness Ash destroys the snowman sitting in the front yard.
Ash: “DIE!! WHO’S 75 NOW???”

He then starts to flirt with the maid… STOP DISTRACTING HER!
Ash: “I can’t kept this sexy body contain.” *winks*
Maid: “I can’t wait to spend some more personal time with you, why do you think this outfit is so low cut.”
I PAY YOU TO WORK LADY!!
Ash: “Technically I pay her, and I’d be willing to pay her for a whole lot of services.”

Thankfully he gets interrupted by Hyacinth or Aster asking for money for new boots.

Dianne: “I’M HAVING A BABY HERE!! WHERE IS MY HUSBAND??”
No idea, work maybe?
Dianne: “WHAT ABOUT THAT PERVERT HE CALLS A FATHER???”
Probably continuing in his quest to get in the maid’s pants.

In the end Dianne pop’s out her baby where she is. Meet Navy (like Navy Blue), he Loves the Heat and is a Heavy Sleeper.

Ash: “I am a dashing silver fox. This cane makes me look dignified.”
I’m sure you’ll be a hit in all the local nursing homes.
Ash: “HOW DARE YOU? I’m far too good looking to be restricted to nursing homes. How old do you think I am??”
Old enough to have several grandkids at this point.

Francesca: “I’m glad to see Ash didn’t kill you of neglect.”
Jacaranda: “Do I know you?”
Francesca: “I am your mother! I gave birth to you!”
Jacaranda: “Don’t be silly. Everyone knows I was found in a cabbage patch.”
Francesca: “If I never ran away from home I would be happily married with three kids by now.”

Jacaranda: “BABY! I didn’t know Dianne took a trip to the cabbage patch.”
Did you not attend sex-ed at school?
Jacaranda: “I like to draw pictures in school.”
So you didn’t pay attention… Great. Someone better get Ash to give you The Talk.

Somehow I’m not surprised that Jacaranda got slapped at work.

Ash: “Our son doesn’t know how babies are made, this is all your fault!”
Francesca: “How is this my fault? YOU’RE THE ONE WHO RAISED HIM DIPSHIT!!!”

Ash is quickly turning out to be a far more attentive grandparent than he ever was a parent.
Ash: “Look at that cute little face! This best part about grandkids is being able to give them back to their parents!”

Jacaranda made it to level 5 of Journalism.

Which means it’s time for a new job! He goes for Culinary this time, his cooking skill is already at level 5.

Alecia O’Durke is Dianne’s younger sister, she’s recently become a young adult.

Jacaranda introduces himself.

And works on befriending her via text.

I totally forgot that Dianne’s maternity leave was up.
Dianne: “I’m a ghostbuster!”

Jacaranda: “You should move in!”
Alecia: “Why not, I can help Dianne with the baby.”

And like that Alecia moved in and got a makeover.

These are her traits, and her lifetime wish is Swimming in Cash.

She also has a girlfriend… HOW ARE THEY STILL DATING WITH A RELATIONSHIP LIKE THAT?????

Alecia: “I’ve just broken up with my girlfriend, it’s left a bit of a gap in my life.”
Jacaranda: “Well, maybe I can fill it.”
*sigh* It looks like Jacaranda isn’t much better than Ash when it comes to romance.

Dianne is totally clueless about her husband and sister getting it on. She’s happily frolicking at the festival.

Jacaranda and Alecia: *kissing noises*

That escalated quickly.

Alecia is currently sleeping in one of the unoccupied bedrooms and has taken up painting.

She also rolled a wish to be a Stylist, so she gets a job.

Aster calls home from military school. Ash has no regrets about sending him and Hyacinth away.

Dianne: “It’s so nice having my sister around to help with Navy. I have so much more free time for my chess.”
Sure, keep believing that.

Ash: “This is ridiculous! Two beautiful women and neither one will sleep with me!!!”
Alecia: “I’m not interesting in old men.”
Ash: “I’M NOT OLD!!!!!”

Oh look, Hyacinth aged up.

Hyacinth: “Are we done here? I’d like to move on with my life.”

Hyacinth adds Handy to Excitable, Heavy Sleeper, Disciplined, and Clumsy. Her lifetime wish is Martial Arts Master.

Really Ash? She just got back from military school!
Ash: “While I don’t like her, making her cry gives me joy.”

Good thing Hyacinth isn’t sticking around, she gets to escape her father’s antics.

It’s now time for Navy’s birthday!

He got blue eyes, which I assume are from his grandfather Liam, and Dianne’s green hair.

Alecia is at her first day of work and her father is her first client!
Alecia: “Those clothes really don’t suit you Dad, they’ve got to go.”

Liam: “This is what you go with?”
Alecia: “It’s my first day, give me a break.”

She then starts to rant about who knows what. Also for some reason the lights in the salon aren’t working even though the game thinks they’re on.

Alecia’s first day gets of work gets interrupted by her pregnancy.

Though she’s not the only one expecting.

I’m not sure how Jacaranda is planning to deal with this mess, but he’s busy teaching Navy to walk.

Generational Goals:

Gain skill level 5 for job (each one that requires different skill)
Start Four Jobs, Quit when At Level Five 1/4
Meet Co-Workers 1/4
Have Kid with two different woman 1/2
Get Married
Flirt with at least three sims 2/3
Expansion Need: Pets
Buy and get rid of pets (one cat, one dog, one horse)

Kids: 1/5
Heir: #5

I’ve decided to stick all the family story progression updates at the end of each post.

Looks like Marco took Garth and moved out of Crocus’ house.

Crocus flirts with Beau (Foxglove’s half brother).

Before he starts to date Hasan Colby.

And then breaks up with him.

Hyacinth’s prom RI is still a teen, so it looks like she’s focused her attention on Sandy Cho.

Anyways, that’s all for now!

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1.6 Prom is a Battlefield

Welcome back to the Hawthorn DITFTR! Last time Ash was a jerk who flirted with his dead wives and Laila, he also harassed his kids and children in general, there were birthdays, and Crocus moved out.

We start off with Hyacinth and Aster finding out each other’s gender preferences.

It looks like Hyacinth is Gay while Aster is Bisexual.

Hyacinth travels to their neighobour’s in order to ask Rudolph to be her BFF.

Afterwards she decides to ask his sister to prom.

Unfortunately Hyacinth gets turned down.

And then these three head off to prom!

Aster and Jacaranda both end up in fights pretty quickly.

Hyacinth becomes Prom Queen.

While Aster makes a move on himself???

Jacaranda ended up in another fight.

Hyacinth got into drugs or something.

Aster became Prom King.

Fight #3 for Jacaranda.

Looks like whatever Hyacinth got into did a number on her coordination.

Fight #4 for Jacaranda.

Latoya is Rudolph’s sister, the girl that turned Hyacinth down earlier. I guess she changed her mind.

Aster picked another fight.

And apparently got over his crush on himself.

Foxglove didn’t go to prom cause it was his birthday!

He adds Mean-Spirited to Couch Potato, Artistic, Night Owl, and Slob. His lifetime wish is Become a Creature-Robot Cross Breeder.

Nate is still a teen, so Foxglove just moves out on his own.

Madeline just accused Ash of cheating on her.

Which resulted in Ash getting what I’m pretty sure is the worst reputation possible.

Ash: “If I work out then I can look young forever!”
I think you’re deluding yourself there.

Oh look, it’s finally happening.

Laila at 105 days old becomes the first person in this family to die of old age.

Grim Reaper: “Well, well, well. It looks like one of you actually died of old age instead of getting murdered.”

Laila: “But I’m not ready to go yet!”
Grim Reaper: “Too bad.”

A few minutes later, it’s time for Jacaranda’s birthday!

He adds Shy to Photographer’s Eye, Insane, Light Sleeper, and Hates the Outdoors. His lifetime wish is Illustrious Author and he’s the Gen 1 Heir!

Jacaranda: “Being heir sounds like a lot of responsibility!”

Anyways, let’s check out Jacaranda’s generational goals:

Goal set 14:
Bit ‘o Everything

Gain skill level 5 for job (each one that requires different skill)
Start Four Jobs, Quit when At Level Five
Meet Co-Workers
Have Kid with two different woman/ or get pregnant by two guys /or adopt
Get Married
Flirt with at least three sims
Expansion Need: Pets
Buy and get rid of pets (one cat, one dog, one horse)

Kids: 5

Jacaranda’s writing skill is already at Level 5, so he gets a job in Journalism.

Jacaranda works on his painting skill for his lifetime wish.

Damn. I didn’t realize that Jacaranda was this ripped.

Next day is graduation.

And Jacaranda is voted most likely to offend others… I’m not surprised.

I rearranged the house a bit to give Jacaranda a new bedroom (I made the study smaller and the rest of the space became Jacaranda’s new bedroom). I think I’m going to do some renovations to the house when the next gen arrives.

She’s only been dead a day or two and Laila’s already back haunting.

Jacaranda may be at level 5 writing skill already, but he needs to max it for his lifetime wish.

Looks like Jacaranda got invited to Crocus’ costume party! Let’s see how Crocus is doing.

What’s your problem?
Jacaranda: “Inconceivable!”

Ah, Looks like Jacaranda and Crocus are wearing the same costume.

Marco and their son Garth are the only other ones there. At some point Crocus and Marco have broken up.

Jacaranda spends the entire party watching tv.

Hyacinth: “Oh Father, Laila’s death is just so horrible.”
Ash: “Uh, there there?”

Ash: “I don’t like this! I’m sending her to boarding school.”
Seriously? She cries on your shoulder and your response is to send her to boarding school???

Ash: “Hello, I’d like to send my daughter to military school please!”
Hyacinth: “I hate you. See if I ever try to bond with you again.”

Jacaranda: “These waffles smell like death.”
Then maybe you shouldn’t be eating them.
Jacaranda: *shrugs*

Ash: “What did you just call me!?!?!?”
Aster: “I called you an old man.”

Ash: “TO BOARDING SCHOOL WITH YOU!!!”

And thus the two youngest got sent to military school.

Huh, I can’t say I’ve ever seen that name before.

What kind of opportunity is this???

Jacaranda is at level 3 now I think, and he gets to dig through people’s trash to get dirt on them.

Dianne is one of the only woman in town close to Jacaranda’s age and now that she’s a young adult he invites her over!

Jacaranda: “We’re friends so you should totally break up with your boyfriend.”

Now that that’s taken care of, Jacaranda can make his move.

Ash: “How dare my son get more ass than me!”

It doesn’t take long for romance to blossom.

Jacranda: “Marry me plant person!”
Dianne: “Of course!”

And then it’s time for a quick hallway wedding.

Now that Dianne’s moved in I gave her a makeover!

Here are her traits. Her lifetime wish is Paranormal Profiteer.

I may have pollinated Crocus when Jacaranda went to his party. Anyways, he had another son.

I enabled PlantSim pregnancy with woohooer, so we’ll see if this works.
Ash: “You better make this good!”
ASH! They’re about to woohoo!”

Ash: “I’m not busy, I’m just watching my son woohoo his wife.”
*face palm*

That is not the sort of thing you tell your son!

And Jacaranda is back to rooting through trash.

While Dianne becomes a ghost hunter.

The Try for A Baby didn’t work, so Ash is working on his Science skill to try and make a cure. I also tried pollinating Dianne with Master Controller to see if that would work.

Guy: “WHAT ARE YOU DOING???”

Guy: “Get away from my house you trash rooting racoon!!!”
Jacaranda: “I’m a journalist!”
Guy: “I’m going to call the cops.”
Jacaranda: “BYE!”

Dianne is working on her logic skill.

And it looks like the pollination worked!

Looks like this isn’t necessary Ash.

Ash: “Good, I suck at this anyway.”

And we end things off with a baby pop!

Generational Goals:

Gain skill level 5 for job (each one that requires different skill)
Start Four Jobs, Quit when At Level Five 0/4
Meet Co-Workers
Have Kids with two different woman 0/2
Get Married
Flirt with at least three sims 1/3
Expansion Need: Pets
Buy and get rid of pets (one cat, one dog, one horse) 0/3

Kids: 0/5

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