Welcome back to the Hawthorn DITFTR! It’s been awhile since I haven’t had much time to write or play thanks to school. In other news, this blog has been nominated on Boolprop for Best DITFT! This means that 3 of my blogs have been nominated for the Golden Plumbobs and I’m thrilled to know people are enjoying my stuff! Anyways, last time Ash was well Ash, Jeans and Ocean were a bit unhinged, the pets were all given up for adoption, and Alecia died after a few tries.
Ocean: “So Grandpa, what’s the secret to immortality? You look absolutely ancient and you’re still alive so you must have found it.”
Ash: “ANCIENT??? I look like a magnificent graceful swan and I’ll prove it too you!!!”
Ash: “Hello Clarissa. Ever since I saw your online dating profile I can’t stop thinking about you.”
Clarissa: “I love me an older man.”
Ocean: “See, I told you Grandpa was getting it on with someone younger than Dad.”
Jeans: “How did he manage that?”
Ocean: *shrugs* “I think that there’s something broken in her head.”
Ocean: “And now he’s got his tongue in her mouth.”
Jeans: “That’s how kissing works???”
Ocean: “Do you not use the internet?”
Clarissa: “I love having an audience too.”
Ocean: “There is something seriously wrong with that woman.”
Solar Panel: “My poor childhood innocence.”
What are you talking about?
*moaning and thumping noises*
OH.
Solar Panel: *plays louder*
Maybe putting Ash’s room across from the nursery was a bad idea.
Ocean: “I never knew woohoo sounded so much like murder.”
How do you know what murder sounds like?????
Ocean: “I have dived into the depths of the internet.”
Ocean: “Wait a minute… You’re the new teacher at school! I can’t wait to tell everyone what a giant slut you are!”
Clarissa: “As if they’d believe a word that comes out of your mouth.”
Ash: “Clarissa here is a classy woman, right babe.”
Clarissa: “I sure am!”
Ocean: “You’ve know each other less than 3 hours and 2 of those hours were spent making a host of barn animal noises.”
Jacaranda: “What kind of woman has a lingerie that matches her hair, you look ridiculous!!!””
Clarissa: “Aw, what a sweet little baby.”
Solar Panel: “Come near me and I’ll puke on you.”
Clarissa: “My my, I recognize that handsome young face from my new high school class. You’re family is just full of handsome young men.”
NO BAD CLARISSA! NO FLIRTING WITH TEENAGERS!!
Jacaranda: “You look so much better when you’re not wearing that ridiculous red outfit.”
Clarissa: “Let me tell you, I look twice as good out it.”
Jacaranda: “I guess I better find out.”
SERIOUSLY??? Clarissa has just made moves on three generations of Hawthorn’s.
Ash wanted a hot tub, so I got him one. He’s at 103 days old at this point.
Recycle is still around. Despite being the heiress I don’t think I paid much attention to her as a toddler.
Hyacinth threw a party and invited Ash.
Her daughter’s are currently toddlers. This is Barbra.
And this is Melissa. Their colourings are exact opposites of each other.
The party lasted like 3 seconds cause Hyacinth had to go to work *face palm*
Oops, I forgot Solar Panel’s birthday. He has No Sense of Humor now.
Solar Panel: “I DO NOT FIND THIS FUNNY.”
Navy then went off to prom.
He walks in the door and immediately falls on his face, real graceful there Navy.
Navy: “I’M PROM KING!!!!”
Navy: “WHERE’D THAT LLAMA COME FROM???”
Navy: “I’M GONNA TIE IT TO THE STAGE!!!”
Navy: “HE ASSHOLE!!! YOU BETTER APOLOGIZE TO THE LADY!!!”
Marlana: “Oh my hero!”
In summary, the punch got spiked and Navy got into a bunch of antics, but somehow manages to land a girl.
Ash: “WHO THE HELL ARE YOU?? I DON’T CARE WHAT YOUR MOTHER SAYS, I’M NOT YOUR FATHER!!!”
Kid: “I’m just visiting!”
Ash yells at random child, nothing new there.
Another burglar, you’d think they’d learn.
Burglar: “The Home Owners Association didn’t warn me about this!!!”
Why are you all eating breakfast outside?
Ocean: “There was no way I was going near that toxic wasteland of a kitchen table.”
DOE NO ONE KNOW HOW TO WASH DISHES???
Ocean: “We have a maid, why would we wash our own dishes?”
Jacaranda reached level 5 of the Business career, so he’s started his final job in the Athletic career.
It’s now time for Ocean and Jean’s birthdays!
Ocean is now Handy.
She’s also bisexual.
Jeans is now Unstable, this kid just can’t win when it comes to traits apparently.
He’s bisexual too.
Solar Panel: “I may be the forgotten child, but I’m boss at video games!”
Jacaranda isn’t actually at level 5 of the Athletic skill yet, so he takes a quick trip to the gym.
And done!
Ash: “And they say old men don’t have game! I’ve got all kinds of game!!”
Recycle: “And like that, I’m alone. At least I haven’t been abandoned in the wilderness.”
Ash: “I bet you couldn’t land a date in a bar of horny men! You look like a clown did your make-up blind!”
Ocean: “YOU BETTER WATCH YOUR MOUTH!!! Or you’re going to find yourself choking on your own blood.”
While Ocean researches how to get away with murder, Solar Panel continues to be obsessed with video games.
Solar Panel: “I’m losing, how is that possible?!”
Jeans: *is asleep*
Dianne: “So how are my kids doing?”
Ummmmmmmm, fine?
Dianne: “When did my sister die?”
Alecia: “Vending machines are dangerous things.”
Francesca: “Just how many dead woman are in this place?
There are 6 dead woman in this house, their urns are just sort of stuffed in random places.
Meanwhile Ash is 108 days and getting another tattoo.
Ash: “It’s another scantily clad woman!”
Of course it is.
Now that Jacaranda is done with all of the skilling for his generational goals, he can focus on his aspiration.
For some reason, every time I boot up the game, Ash’s age resets to 75 days old. I’ve been keeping track of how old he is (since he turned 90) and have just been changing his age to what it should be using Master Controller. I’m kind of worried he’s going to live forever at this rate.
It’s been awhile since Jacaranda painted anything, his paintings tend to be awfully blocky though for some reason.
It must be the weekend or something, so Navy is out with his prom RI Marlana.
Who is apparently in a relationship with someone else.
It doesn’t stop Navy from putting the moves on her. He does convince her to leave her boyfriend and date him instead.
Ocean: “And your candy is all mine!!!”
Recycle: “CANDY!!!!”
Ash: “HOW DARE YOU MAKE MY PRECIOUS GRANDBABY CRY!!!”
Ocean: “I’M YOUR GRANDCHILD TOO ASSHOLE!!”
Ash! No child abuse! Put the cane down!!
Ash: “How about the poor baby gets some cake!”
Recycle is now an Animal Lover.
Recycle: “Soon this will all be mine. I expect you to pay homage to me with kittens.”
Ocean: “In your dreams brat.”
Solar Panel: “If Ocean murders Recycle does that make me heir next?”
No one is murdering anyone!!
Ash: “HOW DARE YOU CORRUPT RECYCLE WITH YOUR TALK OF MURDER!!!”
Ocean: “YOUR DAYS ARE NUMBERED ASSHOLE!!!”
Huh, I didn’t know Ash’s nerd level was that high.
You’ve got to be kidding me, of all of the traits he could have gotten. Though to be honest it kind of fits.
A FEW HOURS LATER.
Ash: “I feel all tingly.”
I fully believe that Ocean murdered him, he’s been a super asshole to her since her birthday.
Grim Reaper: “Well I didn’t expect to be here so soon.”
Ash is 110 days old! If anything, you’re late!
Grim Reaper: “Meh, I found this guy entertaining.”
Ash: “You have taste.”
The Grim Reaper then sat down to read one of the many books stashed in the bookshelves.
Grim Reaper: “Shhhhh! This is that part where she bathes naked!”
Is everyone in this save horny?
Anyway, time for the Story Progression updates!
Crocus got with Abner Barnett.
And Aster got back together with Sandy Cho despite breaking up last time.
Generational Goals:
Gain skill level 5 for job (each one that requires different skill)
Start Four Jobs, Quit when At Level Five 3/4Meet Co-Workers 4/4Have Kid with two different woman 2/2Get MarriedFlirt with at least three sims 3/3
Expansion Need: PetsBuy and get rid of pets (one cat, one dog, one horse)
Kids: 5/5
Heir: #5
Anyways, that’s all for now!
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